Inheriting Kindness ft. Dhrreti Bhatt

"After every project, I feel like now my life is over. And sometimes I forget that I'm only 22. And I have an eternity ahead of me. I can take it slow, I don't have to be in a rush. " Dhrreti Bhatt, Akvarious's newest playwright-director speaks to us about ideas for new plays, about her process, her relationship with God, and ends with some pointed observations on the state of theatre in Bombay.

Let's start with the most recent thing you’ve done, as opposed to going back in time. What is Sissy about?

Akarsh Khurana and Dhrreti Bhatt in a still from Sissy

It's a conversation between a girl and her therapist about everything that she thinks is absurd. So, she thinks the ocean is absurd. Pregnancy is absurd. Trees are absurd.

And all because she doesn't want to talk about the fact that she lost somebody she loved a lot.

And in that session, we talk about mother-daughter relationships. About death and grief and loss. And in the end, there's a big shocker which I won’t reveal.

What's funny is that the play came out of an actual therapy session. I was exhausted, talking to my therapist.

And actually, wait. This is how it happened. I was ranting to a friend about pregnancy. Because I find it extremely unhinged that a person just grows inside a woman. And I just kept going on and on.

Ultimately my friend got tired and he said, “Why don't you just write a play about this? If it bothers you so much…” And I said, “Hey, that's a good idea. I'm just going to put all my thoughts down on paper. And then we'll see where it goes.”

So the story in the play, the story of the girl, is it based on true events?

No, no, not at all. It stems from a lot of fears I want to face. But nothing of that sort has actually happened to me or to anyone I know personally.

A still from Breakfast in Bed

And this is your first play?

Well, technically, no. I've done some independent productions. Mostly adaptations. One was an original, that I did in 2023. It was called Breakfast in Bed. So Sissy happened after a long gap, two years.

Given that you’ve written and directed your plays, are you more keen on being known as a director or as a writer?

The thing with writing is, for me, it's kind of difficult to write when somebody asks me to write. If somebody gives me a subject and says, okay, write about this, then I will really struggle.

So, I think it's better to be known as a director. Because as a writer, people might come up to me and say, hey, why don't you write for us? And I would love to, but maybe I won't be able to. I would struggle with that.

Because I think my brain is a little weirdly wired. I think a lot of weird things and then I try to make them into plays.

What kind of weird things are you thinking right now that may be a play at some point?

Contemplating a Maha-undertaking

I have three or four ideas that I really want to work on. One of them is about two sisters who have both been married to the same man. The man has left both of them. And the sisters are competing now about who is/was the better wife.

And the man has left them with a trunk full of something, which they’ve been told not to open. So, the entire play is about whether they should open it, whether they should see what’s inside… Where will that leave them? What will it reveal? That he loved one of them more?

So, it's about sisterhood, but not really. And it has these metaphysical themes of one being Maya and one being Moksha.

I’m also currently on Volume 1 of the 10-Volume Mahabharata by Vivek Debroy. Because I eventually hope to make a massive play on that. My dream project, probably 10 years down the line because it’s going to take me that long just to finish readings these ten volumes!

Okay. I did not expect that. Where did that come from?

Well, I have my relationship with God. And I'm trying to see what's up with God. Who are you? What are you? Also, because there is such a wave across the country, and the world; so many people keep quoting scriptures saying "This is what God said." "No! This is what God said."

I want to see what all the hype is about. I want to be the judge of what my God said to me.

Fascinating. Just zooming out a little now… You've also written podcasts for MnM Talkies, and you were assisting on the Aadyam Podcast, Unscripted. Is there a common thread among these things? Is writing really a transferable skill to you?

I personally found it very hard to write for audio. Because I'm a very visual person. It was difficult for me to imagine sound. That was a completely new world. And the things I learnt there, I had never thought of previously.

Up until that point, I would write assuming I would show xyz on stage, or on screen. Whatever’s happening – like who’s coming, who’s going, who’s giving angry looks or gesturing non-verbally to communicate something to another character – all that will become evident with action.

But suddenly I had to think in terms of what can I make them hear, without relying on what they would see. That was tough for me to wrap my head around. I managed, but it took a while.

And to answer your question… At the end of the day, if you have something that means something to you, no matter what medium you are writing it in, I think it will translate.

With Sissy, a lot of my close friends said that this play seems too personal. They asked me if I really wanted to do that, to put my own thoughts out there transparently.

One thing is they know me, so they can see it. I’m not really worried about a general audience making inferences about my life.

But I've grown up to believe that art means something only if it's personal, if it comes from somewhere that matters.

Which is probably why I'm not great with non-fiction writing. Because if somebody asks me to write say, an historical account, and that history does not matter to me, I will find it very difficult to make it matter to an audience.

Just to go further down this road. What is your writing process like? Are you a fan of the vomit draft? And then are you comfortable with editing? Killing your darlings, as it were?

I think I do the vomit draft a lot. It's just easier for me to sit down and write everything in one go. In one flow. I know a lot of people use maps, story graphs, they plot things down first.

But me, I just sit down to write. And I keep writing. I see where it goes. Where my mind takes me.

When that draft is done, I leave it alone for a few days. And then I come back and say, “Okayyyyy, maybe that's not where my mind should have gone! I can do something better with this, and I can do something better with that. I need to completely take this chunk out because it's not adding any value…”

Dhrreti and her mother at Prithvi Theatre, at Dhrreti's first ever Prithvi appearance in Medha and Zoombish (2019)

A personal struggle of mine is that when I'm looking at a script too closely, I sometimes can't see the whole picture. So, even if I think this is good stuff, I need somebody to look at it and tell me if it is good stuff.

I have a few friends who I know will be harshly critical. I rely on my mother a lot. She's not very fond of English. But I tell her the story, I narrate the script to her. And sometimes she will say things only a mother can get away with. “Whatever this is, it's not worth it.” So, I know where I stand.

Speaking of language. What language do you think in? Do you think in English?

Yeah, unfortunately, I do think in English. And it makes me really sad. Because I want to be able to think in Gujarati, which is my mother tongue. And I want to be able to think in Hindi. Even right now, Navratri is going on. And when my mom tells me to pray a little, to say something, be thankful - I'm talking to Ambe Mata in English!

And I say it’s unfortunate because the kind of pieces I want to eventually put up on stage and the kind of content I want to make have to be accessible to everybody. Not just English speakers.

Because English is also associated with class. It attracts a certain audience, a certain kind of people who will come and watch your plays.

But I want my mother to be able to call her other friends who don’t have English. I want my relatives from Gujarat to be able to watch what I'm making.

And we have a treasure of stories and poetry and concepts in regional languages! Which I think we’re missing out on. I'm missing out on!

Okay, changing direction a little. Tell me about working with MnM Talkies. How did that happen?

Dhrreti with Mantra Mugdh

I had written a play called The Jesters in college, because of a literature class where we were continuously being told that this is good writing and this is bad writing; this is how you should write, this is how you should not write.

I got fed up and I said, who are you to tell me how I should write? You have your rules and your structures, but I am rebellious and I do not accept these.

So. I bunked class and I sat down to write a play.

Vrajesh Hirji is a very close friend of my dad’s. I gave him the script. I thought he might like it because it’s a satire. About two clowns delivering a commentary on society and where we are headed, on writing… Because, you know, literature class.

It took him a year to read it, but once he read it, he said, “I think you should meet Mantra because he would love something like this.”

So I took my script to Mantra. And amazingly, he hired me on the spot!

I asked him if he wanted to see my merit, my degree, anything? And he said “No, I've met you and that's enough.”

Even when I left MnM, sorry I’m time jumping here but even leaving was such a simple conversation. I had a tough time adjusting to things like office hours and sitting at a laptop. And he said “I know you’re a free spirit, I know you want to fly, so go ahead and fly. Be comfortable being you” And that was that.

I owe him a lot. For giving me my first real job, for opening my ears to the possibilities of sound, for just being so supportive throughout. And I met Akarsh through him! MnM was producing the Aadyam podcasts that Akarsh hosted, so one thing has just led to another, and it kind of started with him.

Yeah you pulled off a bit of a casting coup with Sissy, getting Akarsh Khurana to star opposite you.

I mean, I had not anticipated anything of that sort. When I wrote the original draft, it was supposed to be me and another girl. And I thought it would be one of those small productions - a few people would come watch it and it would just pass.

But I was working on Smile Please (my first Akvarious play) while working on the script of Sissy. Akarsh heard I was writing something and he said, “Why aren't you sending the script to me? What's wrong?”

So I sent it. And he said okay let’s make it. For a second I wondered if he was joking, if this was real. Because I didn’t approach him. I didn’t expect it at all. It just happened.

And even for the role he played. He volunteered. Double shock. Because I’ve heard so many times that he’s a reluctant actor.

And what was it like to direct him? How did you direct him?

A still from rehearsals of Sissy.

I was so nervous. He’s so senior, so brilliant. I was, quite literally, a child in front of him. How do I direct him? What do I even say?

But he's very kind.

I have not met many older, senior people who are as kind as him. He made sure that I was comfortable enough to give him direction. He was very open about the fact that this is my place and he will not interfere, that the play should be as I want it to be, even if I need to disagree with him.

For example, the girl - the role I play - is a very vulnerable girl. And I as a person am not. I’m a very tough person. So I was struggling with that.

And after one of our rehearsals, Akarsh sat me down and said “Listen, who you are in life is great. But I think that's coming in the way of your performance. Maybe try to be a little more vulnerable.”

But he made it abundantly clear that he did not want to overstep, that he was just sharing an opinion. That I should play the role the way I think is right because this was my play, my place, my voice.

I think that was a day I cried. It was overwhelming to have both the stress of making this play and the support of someone I respect so much. I’m truly grateful for that.

And I can’t help feeling that I’m just so lucky. There is Mantra, Akarsh. And then going further back, Trishla [Patel] and Hidayat [Sami] sir. I started out working with them, doing production.

My first time on stage was because somebody else fell sick. And they knew that I knew the lines and the blocking. And Hida sir said “Okay, I trust you. Go for it”.

And honestly, I think it was very important for me to work with them. Because they taught me the basics of acting - how to stand, how to talk, the decorum of a rehearsal room, all these things that have taken me to where I am now. I mean, I was 15 years old and I knew nothing.

You know how a graph goes upward? It has to start from somewhere. And I couldn't be more grateful that I started with them.

Where is the graph at now?

Who knows? The problem with me is that after every project, I feel like now my life is over. Now, what do I do next? And sometimes I forget that I'm only 22. And I have an eternity ahead of me. I can take it slow, I don't have to be in a rush. Maybe 20 years later, I'll know where the graph is at. Or was at.

That’s a great answer. Staying with the graph where it is for the moment. I’m curious as to what you think of theatre in India now? Because most of the other people in the blog series so far are my contemporaries, and we all have either a jaded or a very measured view.

At Prithvi for a performance of Guldasta (2022)

I’ll tell you something that bothers me a little. I haven't met many play watchers of my age. Apart from people who work in the theatre. I have friends who have refused to come watch plays because it’s too far and they’d rather just watch something on TV.

So, I hope that this culture of watching plays continues to grow in my generation. Because I value theatre a lot. I want people to come view it.

I watched Glitch in the Myth the other day. And that felt great because one of my peers is making something engaging and fresh.

But then I look at some of the older theatre people who’ve been around for a long time. And I look at their work and I wonder how and why they’re still around.

They have so much experience, so many resources, they can book venues for weeks and months, but their work is… Don’t get me wrong, everyone is allowed to make bad work or work that I don’t personally like, but it makes me mad when I see people not utilising what they have.

Because for a good chunk of last year or the year before that, I would feel massively guilty about the privilege that I have. Because there are friends who've shifted schools and cities, they're living in Versova, they're trying to make ends meet, and they're still doing theatre, they're still trying to get somewhere.

And here I am, living with my family in a nice, comfy house in Mumbai. But I don't have as much to lose, because I have that privilege. I think I got a little crazy over that.

Actually, that brings me to a question I want to add here. Because many times I've asked my peers, what advice they would give younger people?

Now I'm going to ask you, what would your advice be for older people?

Oh, that's great. My advice to older people...

We know you're great. We know that you've done this for years. And we admire you. We adore you. You don't need to throw your weight around. We're already looking up to you.

Let us learn from you.

Give us that space. Give us a chance. Because you also got here from somewhere, because people gave you chances.

And secondly. Make the best of what you can, no matter how long you've been doing this for. Because for somebody like me, it really burns my heart and soul to see wasted opportunity. I don't get a chance to do something that matters to me. And you can just do anything that you like, even stuff that clearly doesn’t matter to you. And you'll get away with it because you're so and so.

Great! Points taken. Now I’m also gong reframe the customary last question. Instead of asking what you wish for Akvarious for their next 25 years…

How do you imagine yourself 25 years later as an older, experienced person with a protege or a mentee or someone younger working with you? What are some things you would do or would never do?

I would like to think that I would work to bring systemic change in the culture of theatre - making and watching.

I would not have this patronising attitude of “You're young. I've invested my energy and time on you. If you were on your own you wouldn’t know anything, you’d be stuck where I found you” Because then there will be nothing left. Because gratitude can be received, never demanded.

What I would do for younger people working with me… I would try to share as much as I can with them. I would use those extra 25 years and say to them, “This is what I've done, this is what I've learned, these are the mistakes I made, you go do your thing, make your mistakes. Try to avoid the mistakes that I made.”

And hopefully there will be a change.

Also I would want to be, you know, one of those still-trying-to-be cool and relevant people. I have to have fun too. Not just be responsible and caring. Or what’s the point.

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